Sunday, March 1, 2009


5:00 am. Phone rings, jangling me from my spirited pirate dream. Son Matt tells me that wife Sue isn’t feeling well and needs to go to hospital. I head for the car in my pajamas, then realize I need to wear real clothes in case I‘m pulled over for Driving While Asleep. Put on yesterday’s clothes.

5:10 am. Sue, Matt and their one-week-old baby Stephanie are off to hospital. I try to sleep on their couch but the house is freezing. Turn up thermostat to comfortable 72 degrees. Just nod off when I get a message from my son. Sue needs surgery to remove useless organ called “gall bladder.” She’s on meds and loves them.

6:00 am. Decide to get up. Need to be on my game for this busy four-year-old. Will watch TV until he wakes up. Can’t find the remote.

7:00 am. Still can’t find remote. Go to computer and check emails, look up funny videos on Yahoo (Ellen Show: “I Drink a Little” and “Single Ladies” performed by oversized guy in leotard.). Play Solitaire for next two hours.

9:00 am. Haven’t had a shower, coffee, or breakfast. Time to wake up Bradley and get this party started. Tiptoe in and find him playing happily in bed. We hug. In spite of the fact I’ve been to his house hundreds of times, he gives me a tour.

9:15 am. Offer breakfast. He wants toast and milk. Doesn’t like the way I make toast, the way I butter it, or the way I cut it. Drinks the milk after much cajoling (“No pizza rolls until you finish your milk.”)

9:30 am. Potty time. Bradley enjoys a leisurely potty time and isn’t done until he “reads” the complete works of Calvin and Hobbes. When potty time is over, I get clean-up detail. No need for details.

10:30 am. Get him dressed (outfit has to match!) Head for grandma’s house with armful of Smurfs, games, toys, and promise of a burrito for brunch. Wants to watch Tom and Jerry cartoon while eating. I realize it’s way too violent and turn on “Dora the Explorer” instead. Ear-piercing screams. Consider making a margarita. For both of us.

11:30 am. Play Candyland. Cook “Popcorn” in mini kitchen. Do animal puzzle. Read “How Do Dinosaurs…” series. Jump on guest bed. Drive little cars. Make up clues for Blues Clues game. Build castle from blocks and knock it down. Repeat.

Noon. Finish playing with everything in house. Make pizza rolls for lunch. Watch more bad cartoons.

1:00 pm. Suggest we make cookies. He wants green ones. Covers them with sprinkles until they are no longer visible. When done, takes one bite, says “Yuck,” and spits it into my hand. I toss the rest when he’s not looking.

1:30 pm. Go outside to play. Push him around court on tricycle. Teach him how to play basketball. Run after ball. Draw pictures in front of neighbor’s house with sidewalk chalk. Use up all chalk.

3:00 pm. Call rest homes and ask prices, availability. Don’t qualify. Yet. Let Bradley play on computer while I lie on couch with heart palpitations.

5:00 pm. Husband Tom comes home. His turn. Convince him into taking Bradley back to his house so he can play in his own bedroom with his toys and his Wii. Wave goodbye. Sit down on couch with glass of wine. Realize have another full day of this tomorrow. Consider getting a nanny.

5:06 pm. Experience an odd feeling. Actually miss Bradley. Lie back on couch and reflect on the day. Fall asleep within seconds.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Great material for the "grandma" book, but is Sue?

March 1, 2009 at 10:32 AM  
Blogger PattiG said...

Hi, I'm a journalist working on some stories involving kids and food. First is about healthy after-school snacks for kids, second is about my fear of passing my picky eating habits along to my daughter. Can you help??? Are you available for a brief phone interview this week or early next???

Patti Ghezzi

March 17, 2009 at 12:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Penny I found your blog by chance. I bet you are a cool grandma :)

I have four children ages 9, 7, 4, and 1.

They are my angels I love them
But sometimes I am too overwhelmed with the whole parenting thing. I was working at a nursing home but had to stop so I can get some sleep and stay awake when the kids are up. Husband works hard at office as well as at home he cooks and cleans vacums, does all yard work. I read books, blogs, and parent (spend time with each child, do mom & son or mother and daughter things just talk to them. My nine year old likes to read to me. I am trying to enjoy them as much as I can because time goes so fast... They will grow up and be adults before I know it.
I will read your blogs as time permits
take care until next time :)

May 19, 2009 at 5:55 PM  

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